👀Insomniac

at night i’m wake with thoughts like floods against my bank and i drift to future scenes. in wonder, mortified i may not become who i purposed to be, terrified of losing peace from my heart. contemplating on much, writing about such, drenched in the twilight, losing myself in the night. and if i dared caused these lashes to clasp i fear i’d never arise from the foreboding nightmares i cease to rid.

biting lips, reading, scribbling, devoted to the blackness beyond dusk, this cycle encircling. mellow but unable to bring my soul to rest, and mayhap that’ll only happen upon my death? or not, if eternity is damned. so i prayed for serenity to gaze at stars scintillating in heavens above but there's a roof as blinds and even worse, i may never see them past the city’s smoked skies.

soundness wavered unto lowly grumbles, disgruntled about life, its distresses like that war in my flesh, disquieting my spirit and these sleep deprived eyes stung but i'd be damned to shut them. it's proliferating, like the subtlety of madness. unhinged to face reality when lost belief rippled the chaos within me, wrecking my untethered anchor through multiple storms when fear reigned. i mean who really sleeps through this¿ i thought.

yet somehow, i embraced these nightly terrors, if only, to escape the void unquenched by meds, empty words and well, a series of unfortunate events. they had me stuck in bottomless pits with smog and mist choking my existence, blurring my vision, tainting my wakefulness.

the weight of dark matter wore me thin bringing me low on feeble knees to embrace feet of Whom i was unworthy. “awake o sleeper.” said He. wherefore the winds that crashed against my sail calmed, unto a perfect slumber.

still, insomniac—woke, proclaiming life found in the Savior, King.