Preface:
I recently woke up with a dream about having paints of different colors placed on my lap, wondered what to do with them, you know? I’m not an artist. Then I perceived my words—watercolor, articulated on a canvas but it’s been so long I thought, since I wrote anything for everyone to read, reprove or reiterate with. And I wouldn't have, given my reserves but guys, I’ve wrestled with this burden of sorts for months, to do so, to begin again, penning my thoughts on paper or webpages for that matter. Even, this short experience:
I got back from work last week and was in my kitchen teary almost for the aforementioned weight suddenly feeling urgent, near, dear to my heart as if The LORD impressed it on me to share, like I used to back in time. I couldn’t shake it off. I’ve only been processing much of everything in my journal/notes this year. And I almost faltered, saying, "Lord, I don’t know how to start, all these pieces of me have been my therapy by Your Grace," But I could almost hear Him say, "what if it's not just about you My child?" I could've run like Jonah, could've been Moses swearing my speech was impeded in the sight of men. "bUT, I just wouldn't know where to begin Lord, so much has happened! The Word you spoke to me in July, it’s truly personal, that vision, these dreams you give me that materialize. Will anyone even care for them? I know you told me You are coming soon, according to the Word You gave me and I believe You but will anyone? You know how people can be and You know I'd rather just keep to myself Lord—
Oh Lord, if it's really Your Will that I share what You spoke to me back in July please, give me a sign tonight. If I happen to hear or see the words "coming back soon" I'll keep my word, I promise! I'll post and even, write some more to Your glory and praise, in honor of all You are. Just as You always honor Your Word.
I proceeded to make my lazy dinner [ tea and toast] sat down to eat it as I watched a series I'd downloaded earlier that day—The Walking dead, season one, episode one. I quite frankly don’t even know why from the multitude of, I'd chosen that in particular; my dear friend Mercedes once mentioned how it was a little much to stomach. Plus, I've been trying to redeem my time: cutting screen time, Netflix, Socials, reading etc.
Anyway, I digress, in the very first scene a cop car pulls up, on the front right side of his car is the number 134, at the back 911 and in the background a sign post of a 21.5 ± acre commercial land on sale.
I paused my device and looked up those numbers cause I heard/felt/knew they were relevant? [That’s just what I felt in my heart and spirit! It's hard to explain]
Here's a fact, I often study The Bible with concordance to get the root meaning of words, and it's profound how numbers have meaning. This is what I found in Hebrew and Greek:
אֶדֶן
'eden
eh'-den
From the same as H113 (in the sense of strength); a basis (of a building, a column, etc.): - foundation, socket.
Total KJV occurrences: 56
H113 (Strong)
אָדֹן אָדוֹן
'âdôn 'âdôn
aw-done', aw-done'
From an unused root (meaning to rule); sovereign, that is, controller (human or divine): - lord, master, owner. Compare also names beginning with “Adoni-”.
αἰνέω
aineō
ahee-neh'-o
From G136; to praise (God): - praise.
αἶνος
ainos
ah'ee-nos
Apparently a primary word; properly a story, but used in the sense of G1868; praise (of God): - praise.
Total KJV occurrences: 2
בְּדַד
bedad
bed-ad'
From H909; separation; Bedad, an Edomite: - Bedad.
Total KJV occurrences: 2
H909 (Strong)
בָּדַד
bâdad
baw-dad'
A primitive root; to divide, that is, (reflexively) be solitary: - alone.
βάπτω
baptō
bap'-to
A primary verb; to whelm, that is, cover wholly with a fluid; in the New Testament only in a qualified or specific sense, that is, (literally) to moisten (a part of one’s person), or (by implication) to stain (as with dye): - dip.
Abi: "my father," Hezekiah's mother
Original Word: אֲבִי
Part of Speech: Proper Name Feminine
Transliteration: Abi
Phonetic Spelling: (ab-ee')
Definition: "my father", Hezekiah's mother
agalliaó: to exult, rejoice greatly
Original Word: ἀγαλλιάω
Part of Speech: Verb
Transliteration: agalliaó
Phonetic Spelling: (ag-al-lee-ah'-o)
Definition: to exult, rejoice greatly
Usage: I exult, am full of joy.
Abba: Abba, father
Original Word: Ἀββᾶ
Part of Speech: Proper Noun, Indeclinable
Transliteration: Abba
Phonetic Spelling: (ab-bah')
Definition: Abba, father
Usage: Abba, Father.
Original Word: אוֹר
Part of Speech: Verb
Transliteration: or
Phonetic Spelling: (ore)
Definition: to be or become light
lalétos: inexpressible
Original Word: ἀλάλητος, ον
Part of Speech: Adjective
Transliteration: alalétos
Phonetic Spelling: (al-al'-ay-tos)
Definition: inexpressible
Usage: unutterable, that baffles words, unexpressed.
In case you are lost in translation of all these strongs' definitions, this is the summary as I precieved it:
My Father in Whom I rejoice greatly even as He is Our Father [Abba] and LORD [Adoni] who is to be praised, for He is the foundation [Rock] from the beginning [Eden, for we were once with Him in Heaven but fell and need to be reconciled to Him through Jesus.] Wants/wills that I shine light on the unutterable things, by writing/narrating [a story] according to His Word. That in the end He will separate/divide. All the while knowing in His name [Jesus] I/we are Baptized [dipped] and by His blood I/we are covered.
Reference—Mathew 25: The Son of Man Will Judge the Nations
31 “When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the [c]holy angels with Him, then He will sit on the throne of His glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats. 33 And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left.
And in case you think I’m tripping from my words and definitions, I too thought I was!! Thought I was losing my marbles, then I read John 10: My mind quieted, certain I’d heard "look up those numbers."
I'm sure you don’t/may never understand how much this means to me! I’ve been alone with my thoughts for so long wondering how I can ever relate any of this to everyone cause people never really believe me [well, maybe just a few]. I remember sharing my salvation story of how I came to Christ and how my eyes were restored and I could see the world for what it was—a big ball of indistinguishable lies! I remember losing friends, some from church!¿ It stung, it was heart breaking. I felt like that John 9 blind guy. [Please check him out].
If you are still reading this, thanks!
A whole lot! (:
So, I continued watching the episode, the cop who'd been shot is on a hospital bed, awakening from unconsciousness, he recollects his colleague had visited, his heart is pounding, the monitors beeping, the friend says “They hope you come back real soon.”
I’m floored, my jaw drops! literally, partly because I had believed with all of my entirety that there was no way I'd get my specific sign request (to hear or see those words). I had covinced myself/mind that somehow, since I wouldn't, it'd absolve me from the burden I spoke of. With this realization, it suddenly felt like that Jonah moment, pleading with sailors to throw me off the boat so that I wouldn't have to go to Nineveh, wouldn't have to share The Word. I sighed and wept, that whole espisode was an absolute nightmare/horror, it looked like a gruesome apocalypse, "forgive us" a bloody frame from one scene said, forgive me Father, for asking for a sign when I know all You are is Truth even, Your Word. I inwardly mumbled.
There, I got my confirmation and Lord knows I’m only posting this in obedience to the promise I made, I’m keeping His word. And with that regard, here is the The Word The Lord gave me. [Kindly click the link].
Also, I'll be sharing whatever I’m led to, do consider subscribing to my blog for any posts/updates.
Obediently Yours,
Shirlin.
N/B: Please check out all affiliate links, they are important for context.
Much heart.
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